Loon!e For Your Thoughts

Everybody gets gas everyday. Some do it twice.


With all these people filling their tank, how many have filled up their tank and realize after that you don't have your wallet?

You forget to do the "bing-bang-boom" check in the morning.

Bing - front right pocket: keys.

Bang - front left pocket: pen, utility knife, jump drive.

Boom - back left pocket: wallet.

$18.01 on the gas reader later you go "oh shit".

Plung into your coin bin.... the secret bin.... the back-up bin.....

(I like having change for the parking meters)

After a few loonies, twoonies, dimes, nickels, quarters, one penny, and 5 minutes and 30 "ah shit", I had 7 cents left.

That's some sweet lovin'.

H!ps Don't Lie

Is it because of...

Kama Sutra manuver #105?

Old age?

Sleeping to the left?

Doing double-jointed twists when you're not double-jointed?

Or maybe, just maybe it's an old war wound?

We'll never know.

What !s Your Body Count?

Do you use an Uzi or a single shot pistol?

Everybody has their preference. At the end of the day you either have a room full of bones or just a rubbermaid container.

I'm particular with my targets.

W!bble, Wobble, Someone Has To Fall

Black. White.

Right. Left.

Door #1. Door #2.

Leave it in. Take it out.

Apple Juice. Orange Juice.

Lager. Stout.

Shut Up. Talk.

Who really has the upper hand?

Another Face !n The Wall

Life brings us many thing...

Sunrises.

Bee stings.

That hot office chick.

Passing grades of honesty.

The ability to recognize shapes and sounds.

The Bing and the Bang.

And the ever so popular television.

Somethings are left over rated.

D!d Dumbo Have ADD Too

Sometimes all you need is an ear.

Other times, a hole on either side of the head will suffice.

Do I Use My Powers of !nvisibility to Fight Crime or for Evil?

Seriously, if a dog farts on your bed, do you still blame him or claim it as your own?

Can it be any more evident?